I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
