hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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