I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
