I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I will be naked everywhere
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
