he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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