Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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