five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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