You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
