he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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