I look better un-naked...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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