If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
