Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
