I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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