the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
