had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
