So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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