If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You are a genius and a whore.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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