brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
