And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
