okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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