Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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