fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
