That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
