yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
