I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
