omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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