my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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