I can text with my tongue
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
