White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
