just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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