I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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