no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
