He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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