they need to just BURY HIM!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
