i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
