WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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