TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
