So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
