we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
