she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
