She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
