Plan B is the new Plan A
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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