I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
