she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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