yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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