i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
