I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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