whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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