If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Dicks are not precious.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
