and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
