ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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