just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is it because I queefed?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Two words: blizzard sex
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize