dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
