There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
