In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
