So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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