There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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