you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
do nipples grow back?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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