Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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