So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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