well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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